"A Checklist of Short-Covering Fairy Tales"
By James J. Cramer
03/07/2003 07:34 AM EST
"What scares the shorts into covering today? What keeps the market today from falling where it should?
1. Rumors that Russia is brokering a deal for Iraq to disarm in 45 days?
2. Word that Saddam Hussein has reached out to France for a backup plan?
3. Intelligence leaks that Osama's nailed this weekend in Southern Iran?
4. Rumors of a meeting with Colin Powell and NATO to develop a "ring around Baghdad?"
5. A Turkish story about how the parliament will revote this weekend to allow the mechanized column in from the north?
6. Suggestion that given the positive tone from Intel (INTC:Nasdaq - news - commentary - research - analysis) on personal computers, Microsoft (MSFT:Nasdaq - news - commentary - research - analysis) will preannounce?
7. Unfounded talk of Cisco (CSCO:Nasdaq - news - commentary - research - analysis) having a better-than-expected quarter?
8. A breaking of the ranks of the German-French-Russian-Chinese coalition against us?
9. A suggestion that the antiwar coalition will politely walk out of the revote, allowing the U.S. and Gabon to give the Security Council a face-saving role?
10. A stand on the SPX that confirms a triple-double bottom, frightening the chartists into covering?
I write all of this blather because you have to realize that the market's so sick right now that it can't even do the right thing properly, which is to go down. I write this absurd list because this is the kind of junk that propels the futures and makes people decide not to sell when selling is rational. And I write it for the cathartic purpose of giving you the whole checklist of claptrap that I know I will hear, so we can check them off one by one as they happen.
Well, think of it this way: At least we will be in this day, like all other days, together! "
(in
www.realmoney.com)