Enviado: 19/3/2004 21:37Esta é sem dúvida a minha favorita..
CALDEIRÃO DE BOLSA
Fórum dedicado à discussão sobre os Mercados Financeiros - Bolsas de Valores
http://caldeiraodebolsa.jornaldenegocios.pt/
off topic: Apelo Urgente a todo Portugal
http://caldeiraodebolsa.jornaldenegocios.pt/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=24559
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Enviado: 19/3/2004 21:37Enviado: 19/3/2004 21:28.........................
Sobre a cerveja
Enviado: 19/3/2004 14:31107 Good Reasons why Beer is Better than Women!!!
1. You can enjoy a beer all month.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When beer goes flat you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. HANGOVERS go away.
8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
16. A beer ALWAYS goes down easy.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
19. A beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. A beer doesn't care when you come.
22. You can have a beer in public.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. Beer always comes in multiples of six.
26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than
dumping the empty bottle.
29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you
thirsty.
30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
32. Beer looks the same in the morning.
33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
36. Beer doesn't get cramps.
37. Beer doesn't have a mother.
38. Beer doesn't have morals.
39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
40. Beer always listens and never argues.
41. Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
42. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
43. Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.
44. Beer doesn't demand legality.
45. Beer is never overweight.
46. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
47. Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
48. Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
49. Beer doesn't need much closet space.
50. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
51. Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
52. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
53. Beer never changes its mind.
54. Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
55. Beer never asks you to change the station.
56. Beer doesn't make you go shopping.
57. Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
58. Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
59. Beer is always easy to pick up.
60. Big, fat beers are nice to have.
61. Beer doesn't pout or play games.
62. Beer NEVER says no.
63. Beer is easy to get into.
64. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
65. Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
66. Beer doesn't wear a bra.
67. Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.
68. Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
69. Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
70. Beer doesn't live with its mother.
71. Beer doesn't blow you off.
72. Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
73. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
74. Beer doesn't mind football season.
75. A beer won't make you go to church.
76. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
77. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
78. A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
79. A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
80. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the
babies are "cute".
81. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
82. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of
"doberperson".
83. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian
folk music on your favorite radio station.
84. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
85. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the
toilet seat up.
86. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer,
it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
87. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
88. A beer won't smoke in your car.
89. A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down
an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner
out of the sky.
90. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
91. A beer will actually *support* belching and farting and share your
enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the
1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.
92. A beer is always ready to leave on time.
93. A beer never fishes for compliments.
94. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
95. Beer tastes *good*.
96. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then
decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape".
97. A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching
"John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.
98. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
99. A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the
grocery store.
100. A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse
"just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the beer won't
accuse you of it.
101. A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants
game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football
League.
102. A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the
excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
103. A beer will *never* make you go to a Swedish movie.
104. A beer will *never* make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on
channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
105. A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman"
instead of "Gene Hackperson".
106. A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes
like STP Oil Treatment.
107. When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't
make you ill.
1. You can enjoy a beer all month.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When beer goes flat you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. HANGOVERS go away.
8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
16. A beer ALWAYS goes down easy.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
19. A beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. A beer doesn't care when you come.
22. You can have a beer in public.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. Beer always comes in multiples of six.
26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than
dumping the empty bottle.
29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you
thirsty.
30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
32. Beer looks the same in the morning.
33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
36. Beer doesn't get cramps.
37. Beer doesn't have a mother.
38. Beer doesn't have morals.
39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
40. Beer always listens and never argues.
41. Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
42. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
43. Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.
44. Beer doesn't demand legality.
45. Beer is never overweight.
46. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
47. Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
48. Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
49. Beer doesn't need much closet space.
50. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
51. Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
52. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
53. Beer never changes its mind.
54. Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
55. Beer never asks you to change the station.
56. Beer doesn't make you go shopping.
57. Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
58. Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
59. Beer is always easy to pick up.
60. Big, fat beers are nice to have.
61. Beer doesn't pout or play games.
62. Beer NEVER says no.
63. Beer is easy to get into.
64. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
65. Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
66. Beer doesn't wear a bra.
67. Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.
68. Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
69. Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
70. Beer doesn't live with its mother.
71. Beer doesn't blow you off.
72. Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
73. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
74. Beer doesn't mind football season.
75. A beer won't make you go to church.
76. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
77. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
78. A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
79. A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
80. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the
babies are "cute".
81. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
82. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of
"doberperson".
83. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian
folk music on your favorite radio station.
84. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
85. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the
toilet seat up.
86. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer,
it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
87. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
88. A beer won't smoke in your car.
89. A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down
an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner
out of the sky.
90. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
91. A beer will actually *support* belching and farting and share your
enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the
1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.
92. A beer is always ready to leave on time.
93. A beer never fishes for compliments.
94. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
95. Beer tastes *good*.
96. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then
decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape".
97. A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching
"John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.
98. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
99. A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the
grocery store.
100. A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse
"just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the beer won't
accuse you of it.
101. A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants
game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football
League.
102. A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the
excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
103. A beer will *never* make you go to a Swedish movie.
104. A beer will *never* make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on
channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
105. A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman"
instead of "Gene Hackperson".
106. A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes
like STP Oil Treatment.
107. When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't
make you ill.
Re: Mas que raios
Enviado: 19/3/2004 13:20Thomas Hobbes Escreveu:JCS,
Noto no teu post anterior um piquinho a azedo?
Thomas Hobbes Escreveu:Mas agora uma "Boazona" nua com um pack de cerveja é deveras bem mais atarente!!!
eheheheh Thomas estava claramente na brincadeira. Quanto aos "azedos", respeito-os sem problema nenhum desde que "não arrastem a asa" para cá para estes lados...
Thomas Hobbes Escreveu:Mas agora uma "Boazona" nua com um pack de cerveja é deveras bem mais atarente!!!
Isso era "dois em um"! Embora se tenha de admitir que existem algumas mulheres em que mais vale beber a cerveja eheheh (brinacadeira)
Enviado: 19/3/2004 12:52Pata-Hari Escreveu:E se a caça só estiver aberta aos homens que preencherem os requisitos minimos para pretendentes a caçadores? é que mesmo para caçador e para terrorista, é preciso preencher requisitos minimos.
Aiai, estes off topics
Requisitos mínimos???aiaiaiaiaiaiai que raio de requisitos são esses????
Jinhoooooooooooos
Mas que raios
Enviado: 19/3/2004 12:47JCS,
Noto no teu post anterior um piquinho a azedo?
A única vez que tive com homens nús foi na tropa e ainda me lembro do cheiro a sulfato de peúga!!!!
Mas uma coisa tenho que concordad com a PATA, correr atrás de uma rapariga com uma caneca de cerveja numa mão, é uma tarefa muito dificil para nós homens.
Mas agora uma "Boazona" nua com um pack de cerveja é deveras bem mais atarente!!!
Noto no teu post anterior um piquinho a azedo?
A única vez que tive com homens nús foi na tropa e ainda me lembro do cheiro a sulfato de peúga!!!!
Mas uma coisa tenho que concordad com a PATA, correr atrás de uma rapariga com uma caneca de cerveja numa mão, é uma tarefa muito dificil para nós homens.
Mas agora uma "Boazona" nua com um pack de cerveja é deveras bem mais atarente!!!
Enviado: 19/3/2004 12:39Muitos se surpreenderiam com a quantidade de homens que se despiriam e apelariam a que corressem atrás deles com a cerveja na mão... ehehhehehehe
Enviado: 19/3/2004 12:02"que todos os homens corram atras delas com uma cerveja na mão. " parece uma espécie de caça ao ovo-de-páscoa... 
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:59Pata-Hari:
Suponho que só estava em causa uma demonstração de interesse...
Se está em causa uma caça, a coisa fia mais fino (e já estou a ver os maridos e namorados a proibirem as respectivas de irem trabalhar no dia em causa)...
Suponho que só estava em causa uma demonstração de interesse...
Se está em causa uma caça, a coisa fia mais fino (e já estou a ver os maridos e namorados a proibirem as respectivas de irem trabalhar no dia em causa)...
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:51E se a caça só estiver aberta aos homens que preencherem os requisitos minimos para pretendentes a caçadores? é que mesmo para caçador e para terrorista, é preciso preencher requisitos minimos .
Aiai, estes off topics
.
Aiai, estes off topics
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:45Sou ruiva e tenho cabelos compridos, 1m80cm 55Kg.
Se for mesmo para caçar terroristas eu alinho na maratona eheheheheh
Mas já agora só uma coriosidade, e se os polícias se entusiasmam e começam também a correr atrás das mulheres? 
Jinhos
Se for mesmo para caçar terroristas eu alinho na maratona eheheheheh
Mas já agora só uma coriosidade, e se os polícias se entusiasmam e começam também a correr atrás das mulheres?
Jinhos
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:19Estou de acordo com o Ming.
Quem gosta de galinha velha é panela de pressão...
Essa forma de combate ao terrorismo só se deve aplicar a meninas entre os 18 e os 40, desde que preencham requisitos de qualidade devidamente certificados.
Quanto à cerveja pode ser uma qualquer desde que bem fresca.
hehehehehe
Quem gosta de galinha velha é panela de pressão...
Essa forma de combate ao terrorismo só se deve aplicar a meninas entre os 18 e os 40, desde que preencham requisitos de qualidade devidamente certificados.
Quanto à cerveja pode ser uma qualquer desde que bem fresca.
hehehehehe
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:16O alcool não me produz um efeito tão radical (felizmente, senão deixava já de o beber...).
Resta-me ficar a olhar pela janela enquanto bebo a cerveja....
Resta-me ficar a olhar pela janela enquanto bebo a cerveja....
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:11Ming, desculpe, mas com o álcool, as de 60 vão parecer teen agers
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:05Que sorte!
Espero então que elas alinhem nessa caça aos terroristas...
Espero então que elas alinhem nessa caça aos terroristas...
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:04apoio a ideia a 100%
a parte do correr atrás delas, é que é mais complicada
se for a andar devagar, pode ser?
a parte do correr atrás delas, é que é mais complicada
se for a andar devagar, pode ser?
Enviado: 19/3/2004 11:02Eu trabalho no ambiente oposto ao que descreveste hehe por isso achei piada ao texto.
Enviado: 19/3/2004 10:57E se no nosso escritório só trabalharem mulheres feias, com mais de 60 anos e mais de 120 quilos de peso?
Temos na mesma de correr atrás delas a cantar e a rir, para evitarmos ser presos?
Temos na mesma de correr atrás delas a cantar e a rir, para evitarmos ser presos?
off topic: Apelo Urgente a todo Portugal
Enviado: 19/3/2004 10:47É bem sabido que os muçulmanos fundamentalistas (terroristas em potência) se opõem ao consumo de álcool e consideram pecado capital ver uma mulher nua que não seja a sua.
Por isso, apelamos para que nesta próxima sexta-feira, às dezassete horas, hora de Lisboa, todas as mulheres corram nuas pelo escritório (bancos, repartições publicas,empresas privadas etc.) e que todos os homens corram atras delas com uma cerveja na mão.
Isto ajudar-nos-á a detectar os terroristas que existem entre nós, a fim de os capturar e deportar.
Aqueles que fizerem cara de nojo deverão ser presos imediatamente - depois a gente faz a triagem, para separar os bichas.
O Mundo livre e democrático agradece estes esforços na luta contra o terrorismo. Esperamos a contribuição de todos.
Favor passar, pois todos temos que nos unir contra o terrorismo.
Por isso, apelamos para que nesta próxima sexta-feira, às dezassete horas, hora de Lisboa, todas as mulheres corram nuas pelo escritório (bancos, repartições publicas,empresas privadas etc.) e que todos os homens corram atras delas com uma cerveja na mão.
Isto ajudar-nos-á a detectar os terroristas que existem entre nós, a fim de os capturar e deportar.
Aqueles que fizerem cara de nojo deverão ser presos imediatamente - depois a gente faz a triagem, para separar os bichas.
O Mundo livre e democrático agradece estes esforços na luta contra o terrorismo. Esperamos a contribuição de todos.
Favor passar, pois todos temos que nos unir contra o terrorismo.